The Crazy Man That took down the U.S Military All by himself

By: Bill Yan, 5th Grade

Image result for killdozer

So, before you say that this is all fake and I am a lair, google the world “Killdozer”. You should get around 413,003 results.

You done? ok. Good.

So, here’s a TRUE story of a man who took revenge a pinch too far and built himself a war machine:

Marvin Heemeyer was a respected and like man who lived in Granby, Colorado and owned a car repair shop. He bought the land back in 1972 for $42,000 , and had just agreed to sell it to a cement factory for $75,000. Not a bad deal if you ask me!

But for some reason, Heemeyer disagreed to terms, and wanted $100,000 instead. The concert co. agreed, but two dayslater, he changed his mind, and wanted $150,000. The concrete company agreed again. But then, Marvin changed his mind again. This went back and forth for about seven weeks, and finally ended when Heemeyer wanted $950,000. Now, that may not sound like a lot for three acres to us, but this was in Colorado, where land is cheap, and remember, he bought this land for only $42,000.

Finally, the concrete company got sick of Heemeyer, and bought an old lot behind Heemeyer’s shop from the town’s local government instead. Now, Heemeyer didn’t lose his temper easily, but when he did, he got mad. Like, REALLY mad. Like, madder than when Trump doesn’t get funding for his wall, or when Noodmaster64 headshots me. Yup, THAT MAD. Anyway, Heemeyer brought the concrete company to court, tried to sue them, and said that they were blocking customers from his shop, and caused some kind of lung cancer. Yup, now we have concrete cancer.

Well, Heemeyer failed at suing the CC ( Concrete Company) and went completely rage mode, and locked himself in his house. For a year and a half. After he came out of his house, he went mad. He bought a Komatsu D355A (a bulldozer), and HUGE amounts of concrete (he said that he was lucky he didn’t get cancer), a pistol, a crane, and 3 inch, bulletproof titanium. He covered the bulldozer in the titanium, and used concrete to seal in the caps in the metal. Instead pf having holes or a window to see, Heemeyer made a video-camera system that is completely covered in 9 cm bulletproof plastic, and he even added little wipers so that he could continue to see well, even in dust. This design was so clever, that it even mirrored some of today’s high-tech military tanks!

Heemeyer would end up building his “killdozer” over the course of a year and a half, all from scraps, kinda like Tony Stark/Iron Man. He was surprised that on several occasions, people came into his shop, just took selfies with the killdozer!

At last, the day of revenge has come. He sealed himself completely airtight into his War machine with a pistol and a Kel-Tec RDB, Semi-Automatic, 5.56 NATO/.223 Rem., 17.2″ Barrel, 20+1 Rounds gun, and drove, or should I say, plowed into town. he first wrecked the concrete factory, then the town hall, and kept on plowing until the police came.

The cops’ guns didn’t even scratch the Killdozer’s armor, and Marvin returned the fire with some shots from his semi-auto near-machine gun. 16 cops were injured. Panicking, the police tried to shoot the cameras, but to no avail. So the cops barricaded the Killdozer with barricades and police cars, but the Killdozer was made to destroy, and plowed through the police cars like they were paper. A brave police man climbed onto the machine and tried to break in, but there was no entrance.

Getting desperate, the Mayor, Bill Burns called the national guard and they dispatched an Apache helicopter armed with two anti-tank missiles, but The killdozer just shrugged them off. After 3 bazooka shots, three helicopters, a tank, and over 70 policemen, the Killdozer’s TREADS fell off. Yeah, that was how durable it was. Seeing that he was stuck in a ditch with two F-22s appraching Marvin Heemeyer took out his pistol, and killed himself.

Afer the police used, like, TEN C-4 explosives, twenty pounds of TNT, and 2-and-a-half house of drilling, they opened the armor, and found the dead Heemeyer.

All in all, Heemeyer caused $7,000,000 worth of damage, killed two, and injured 29.

Sigh, Heemeyer, you needed to add nukes.